Shake It, Shake It

It's only four games in but if you're counting at home, that's already 25% of the regular season gone.  Let's take a look at some individual divisions shall we, just in time for the schedule to turn into some division fights!  The entire Ba-Donka-Donk division won last week -- against the still yet to be renamed TCats division -- giving them highlight honors.

Jedi Knights (3-1)
After squeaking out a 93-91 victory last week versus the Ann Arbor Bamfers, Chris is riding high.  In fact, his only defeat has come at the hands of the 4-0 Italian Stallionz, and the Knights roster is barely rounding into form. Both Andy Dalton and Peyton Manning are currently top ten QBs, after a shaky start of the season for each. Who will be the starter moving forward?

That Alfred Morris trade has secured the backfield and given the Knights a rushing attack they've never had before.  Morris is currently the fifth ranked RB.  What the Knights do need is some receivers to step up.  Wes Welker and Marques Colston have been early season disappointments, although signs point to them hitting their stride soon.  TE Jermaine Gresham has been average, but that was perhaps expected.  There is a bit of a hole at second running back -- unless you think Jacquizz Rodgers is the answer -- but maybe recent waiver wire addition Joique Bell (replacing Kevin Smith) can fit the bill. Yo GM Chris, kicker Dan Bailey has got to go! He's literally the worst starting K in Maize and Blue right now.  I got a song for you: right here.

We see many more wins ahead for Jedi Knights, even though they've only gone over 90+ points once, as they have lots of upside to explore with the QBs and WRs finding their footing. If the Knights can hold off Another Bad Creation this week, they'll have a nice two game lead.

Another Bad Creation (2-2)
A few weeks ago, ABC was winless and headed toward a disapponting season.  With such a great keeper core, we expected more! Well, after back to back 90+ scoring weeks and two wins, Oliver's team is trending up.  Would you believe that up till now, Ryan Fitzpatrick is outscoring Aaron Rodgers?  Not that Fitzy has played a game for ABC, but that's shocking right?  Rodgers is out of his early season slump though, and will soon re-ascend his throne.

Rodgers is throwing to a nice group of receivers too, as Vincent Jackson, Andre Johnson, and free agent find Martellus Bennett have all contributed steadily.  (Finding Bennett has allowed management to dump top ranked TE, Heath Miller.)  Even free agent receiver Andrew Hawkins could slide in for some games too, he's been that good.  ABC has two running backs in the top ten but Reggie Bush is a bit of a mirage as he's ranked high based on a thirty one point outburst in WK2 -- which he was on the bench for.  Lead back Marshawn Lynch has been his normal bruising self, and if hot-and-cold Darren McFadden and plodder Cedric Benson could combine into one back, that would be perfect.

This week is a big matchup with division leader Jedi Knights so we could see some blood and fireworks. As a team that has steady scoring each week -- three games between 80 and 90 points -- we see ABC ramping up for a strong mid-season push.

Rhythm Drive (2-2)
This team escaped WK1 with a one point win and then got pummeled two weeks in a row. Reno's team bounced back though, with a 90 point showing last weekend, to steady the ship. The big question hanging over Rhythm Drive is if the real Philip Rivers is ever coming back? He's had one 20+ point game, two mid-teens ones, and one stinker. He's so far down the QB rankings that I don't even wanna count. There are also two more slots dedicated to QBs here, with Matt Flynn and Nick Foles on-board, but neither are starting for their NFL teams. Should Rhythm Drive start thinking about replacing Rivers?

The good news is that Michael Turner and Willis McGahee are pretty steady. Injury plagued Matt Forte has been mostly useless but if he can return to form, this will be a nice three back rotation. WR Larry Fitzgerald is holding it down all by himself as Greg Jennings has broken double digits only once and there's not another receiver contributing much of anything. Marcedes Lewis, Coby Fleener, and Santana Moss have put up only twenty five points total for Rhythm Drive. Also, it may be time to look at replacing the Giants defense, who have only posted 3+ points once this season. Actually, yes, it's definitely time to replace them.

It's hard to tell where this team will go, but we know that Rivers will probably be the player that drags them up or down in the standings. With three good running backs and some holes in the receiver department, do we smell a trade coming? Pretty please?

P Funk All Stars (1-3)
After a lot of teasing and potshots lobbed by the national Maize and Blue media, P Funk All Stars got angry and threw up 82 points on their way to a huge first win. After scoring below fifty in each of their three weeks, this is a nice step forward. For posterity, let it be recorded that MoRRie's Boys was overconfident and played without their defense.  Paolo's team showed Alvin the importance of having men on the field when his 49ers defense went out and dropped 28 points. Take that, take that!

While we have a strong suspicion Paolo isn't paying attention -- he's got real life obligations that go above and beyond fantasy sports (I know, hard to imagine) -- we'd rather pretend that he believed so much in Brian Quick that he left him in there. So far MVP candidate Quick has had four targets and one reception, totaling one whole point for the season. It's no surprise P Funk is the lowest scoring team in the league. What might be funnier is that they are only seven points behind Team Cameltoe in points scored. Watch out Felipe, he's coming for you!

Not much has changed since we covered this team two weeks ago in our 0-2 teams column. Joe Flacco has heated up even more and there's likely no need for both Alex Smith and Sam Bradford on this roster.  TE Greg Olsen sealed last week's win with 89 yards and a TD so he'll likely be canonized by relieved All Stars fans soon. There's not a whole lot else going on here though. Rookie receiver Justin Blackmon isn't ready yet, Isaac Redman is headed back to the bench with Rashard Mendenhall returning, and the two headed monster of Pierre Thomas and Mark Ingram just isn't working out. The other receiver is Michael Floyd, who has scored only four points total this season for P Funk, embarrassing if he wasn't starting next to Quick.

We want to give an extreme makeover for this team, like right now. Just give us the password Paolo, we'll make some moves for you. (But most importantly, congrats to the new addition to your real life roster!)