Arriving: Off-Season Rebuilds

Well, it looks like the 2013 football season is finally rounding the corner. With a flurry of moves, Felipe is making sure that Team Cameltoe doesn't repeat last year's 4-8-1 record. After a 2012 season that saw them post the second fewest points in the league, ownership mandated big changes. After starting off last season on reasonably good footing with three wins and a tie through WK8, Felipe's team collapsed down the stretch. A big problem was the quarterback position, where the two headed monster of Jay Cutler and Mark Sanchez wasn't able to do much of anything. Cutler dipped to barely 3,000 yards and only 19 TD versus 14 INT, and Sanchez was well, Sanchezian. A change was needed at the top.

A quick tangent and R.I.P. of sorts for Jay Cutler. The mercurial Cutler has been with Felipe since his rookie year, when Mr. Kristin Cavallari was a lowly 2006 RD7 pick. By 2007, Cutler had overtaken Jake Plummer as the starter -- for both the Denver Broncos and Cameltoe -- and his growth coincided nicely with team success. After three seasons from 2004-6 that boasted 2-11, 4-8-1, and 1-12 records, Cutler helped Cameltoe go 26-13 from 2007 through 2009. Those three winning years included two playoff victories over higher seeds, and a bright future behind Cutler, Brandon Marshall, and Dallas Clark.

Those years also featured a young Adrian Peterson, drafted first overall by Cameltoe (then "St. Lunatics") in 2007. However, a trade away of Peterson just after his stellar 2008 season signaled the beginning of dark times for the franchise. They still managed to go 9-4 in 2009 with a temporary salve in the backfield of um, Joseph Addai and eight games of Clinton Portis, but Felipe's team hasn't had a winning season since dumping All Day.

Two four win campaigns in the last three years, along with an upcoming keeper core that looked to boast exactly one prime time piece at best -- 2011 second overall pick Julio Jones -- convinced Felipe to move toward a rebuild.

Trade ID: #165

• Team Cameltoe receive RB Daryl Richardson, WR Jordy Nelson, DST Chicago Bears
• Mandalorian Warriors receive Cameltoe 2013 RD2 pick and 2014 RD3 pick Cameltoe 2013 RD1 and 2014 RD4 [Revised]

Trade ID: #166

• Team Cameltoe receive QB Russell Wilson
• 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears receive Cameltoe 2014 RD1, 2015 RD1, and 2017 RD2. (The 2013 RD1 is lottery-protected and will convert into Cameltoe's 2017 RD1, in the event that Team Cameltoe does not make the playoffs this season.)

By mortgaging a boatload of future picks, Felipe completely revamped his team. Sure, he won't have an early pick for some years -- four of their next RD1/RD2s were already owned by 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears through 2016 -- but that could be okay since Russell Wilson looks like a franchise quarterback and then some. The diminutive rookie emerged through the back half of the season to power Seattle into the playoffs. "Wilson closed the season with at least 19 Fantasy points in nine of his final eleven games, including at least 27 points in his final three outings." Armed with Percy Harvin and another year of experience, Wilson should continue as a fantasy force.

Not only that, Felipe picked up a new RB and WR set to replace likely camp cuts Roy Helu and Shonn Greene. Daryl Richardson could be the starting tailback in St. Louis and he represents a cheap buy. The same with Jordy Nelson, who had an injury ravaged 2012 but just one year prior was a breakout star. Defending champion Mandalorian Warriors is awash with talent and dumped Richardson, Nelson, and Bears DST for some picks, a move that makes sense for both teams.

We're not sure if a defense is worth keeping, but GM Felipe has shown a predilection for selecting defenses early in drafts so this could just be a pre-emptive strike against a surefire third round defense selection. Go Bears! I mean, "Go Cameltoe!" We love the boldness of these moves and we're hoping more owners take such proactive efforts to reconfigure their roster. We know there are some quality players being dangled in trade talks so we can't wait for the pre-draft shenanigans to continue.

• Felipe must curse the name "Roy Helu" every night. Helu was acquired as part of the Adrian Peterson trade and then again in 2012, ID#146, which cost Cameltoe a 2013 RD2 and a 2014 RD2 to Pooh Bears. All of that and Helu has now taken a gigantic backseat to Alfred Morrris.