Super Bowl VIIII

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears vs MoRRie’s Pogiboys, 72-53
It was a season of inevitability. All four division winners got past their first opponents and made it into the conference finals. In a season featuring familiar names at the top of the scoring charts, our four remaining teams seemed fated to duke it out all season long. It would take a team of true destiny to upend our expectations and show us that surprises can still happen. That team? The 2013 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears!

After dethroning the former champs, J’s team shuffled into the Super Bowl on a steady if unglamorous streak. They were quietly confident, having won four of their last five games. Sure, their opponents were the mighty Pogiboys — who were favored in the matchup — but we all know that Pooh Bears show no fear. Alvin’s team had scored 93 and 131 points in their playoff matchups, and had a team that was firing on all cylinders. Tom Brady, rookie sensation Eddie Lacy, hometown hero Calvin Johnson, resurrected DeSean Jackson, all of these players were faced with excellent match ups.

When Pooh Bears came out flat, with Cam Newton scoring 9 points and 2013 first round pick Shane Vereen totaling only 6, things didn’t look great for Pooh. Also, their Bills DEF sat on the bench with 21 points, while the starting Browns DEF had garnered a whopping -1 points. It didn’t look like another upset was in the cards for Pooh Bears. They had gotten double digit scoring efforts from all four of their receivers — Dez Bryant, Jimmy Graham, Antonio Bryant, and Cordarrelle Patterson — but they barely topped sixty points heading into Sunday night.

Alas, for the Pogiboys, it was a gut wrenching day as their players continued to misfire. Tom Brady somehow only threw up 10 points despite a Patriots’ 41-7 blowout. DeSean Jackson caught four passes for 39 yards in an Eagles 54-11 blowout game. And then Calvin Johnson, who had mysteriously flamed out for most of the playoffs, only accrued four points also. With Tyler Eifert and Chiefs DEF both racking up zero points, this was looking like the wimpiest Super Bowl in history. Only Eddie Lacy went over twenty points for either side, as the rookie was the only one now scared by the bright lights. For Alvin, it would take a monster effort from Michael Crabtree on MNF to take the title. Unfortunately, 49ers kicker Phil Dawson outscored Crabtree, giving Pooh Bears the title in a 72-53 “blowout” that wasn’t as close as even that final score indicated. Note: The 72 point winning score was the lowest since Pooh Bear’s last Super Bowl victory, a 2006 contest over Thundercats (77-55).

In the end, Pooh Bears were happy to take the championship trophy home, since a win is a win is a win! Shivakamini Somakandarkram!!! Congrats to J&J, Jose and Jayvee!

• The Pooh Bears started off the season 4-1, had a bit of a stumble, and then righted the ship to finish winning five of their last six games.
• They were the second highest scoring team in the league, and faced the fourth toughest schedule. 
• Their best free agent pickup? Rookie receiver Cordarrelle Patterson in late November.
• Their top four scorers for the year: Cam Newton, Antonio Brown, Jimmy Graham, Dez Bryant.
• Biggest disappointments: Ray Rice and Doug Martin.
• Highest score: 126-58 W over Italian Stallionz in WK11. Nine total DeLorean weeks (over 88 points).
• Pooh Bears are set up for a sweet future, with a great keeper core, and tons of future picks. For example, they receive Cameltoe’s 2014 RD1 and RD2 pick, and Another Bad Creation's 2014 RD1, as well as as slew of later round picks from other teams. Also, somehow Pooh Bears owns Cameltoe’s first few round picks almost all the way through 2016! Dare we say "dynasty alert?!"