East / Gold: Green and White

Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (3-10)
Back with yet another new name, Mike is going back to the past with a stellar Last Starfighter reference. It’s been a bad two years for XKDA and they matched their franchise worst 3-10 record from 2006 with last season’s three win effort. If you’re wondering, yes that was the worst record in the league. This year’s version will still be piloted by Matt Stafford and he’ll still have Jeremy Maclin, Alshon Jeffery, and Kyle Rudolph to throw to, but the biggest new weapon will be 2017 #2 overall pick Christian McCaffrey, of whom much is expected. If McCaffrey can be as explosive as advertised, he’ll steady bring some pizzazz to the roster, and perhaps give Xur a shot at getting out of the Toilet Bowl depths. There’s plenty of intriguing young talent from Mike’s draft — Thomas Rawls, Zay Jones, rookie Lions’ giant receiver Kenny Golladay, JuJu Smith-Schuster, and maybe even a resurgent shot of Jamaal Charles, now in Denver. We’re a little concerned about the double defense drafting of Patriots (6.1) and Packers (10.1) but if defense wins championships then XKDA is on the right track!

Mandalorian Warriors (6-7)
The Warriors have seen better days. With a division leading five division titles in their history, as well as back-to-back Super Bowl appearances in 2011-2, plus a title in 2012, Matt has certainly established himself as an owner to be feared. Well, at least until the last three years, where Warriors are clearly on a downward and rebuilding trajectory. The good news is that Mandalorians never die — they just get cloned — and their last three year stretch without a post-season appearance resulted in the aforementioned glory years of 2011-13. The path back to the top starts with Aaron Rodgers at the helm, and he’s flanked by DeMarco Murray behind him. However, the season ending injury to Julian Edelman certainly hurts, depriving Warriors of their best receiving threat. Larry Fitzgerald is still on hand to catch a lot of balls but he’s no longer a top option. With no first round pick this year, Warriors went kicker very early (2.7) and then Cardinals defense in RD3 (3.8). Matt seems to be rolling the dice on the likes of Marquise Goodwin, Jack Doyle, Cole Beasley, Willie Snead, and the like to carry his team back toward contention. Will this be the end of the three year downswing? Or will the Warriors rise again?

Stink Pink Gators (7-6)
New owner Dave is positioned to build from a position of strength as Detroit Players haven’t had a losing season in four years and have a storied history including back-to-back titles in 2007-08. The Gators are tied with Warriors with the best overall historical record in the division — both are 91-76-2 — and could gain a nice bragging edge here with a winning season. Last year’s squad upset top seeded 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears in the first round but was dispatched by eventual champion Fockers in the conference finals. But that’s all old history now! Dave inherited a core of Jameis Winston, AJ Green, Mark Ingram, Jarvis Landry, and Zach Ertz and then drafted receiver turned running back Ty Montgomery, Paul Perkins, rookie receivers Adam Thielen and John Ross, and then some youngish vets like Wendell Smallwood, Kendall Wright, Marqise Lee, C.J. Fiedorowicz, and Chris Thompson. Stink Pink Gators will clearly be future focused but they can still be mighty competitive even as Dave quickly finds his footing in Maize and Blue.

Sweep The Leg Zabka (9-4)
Our #2 power ranked team last season — and back-to-back division champ — got upended by Fockers in the first round last year, dashing their title hopes. Since taking the league by storm since his entrance in 2014, Alan has gone 8-5, 8-5, and 9-4 in his three seasons. And now he’s brought some reinforcements in old frenemies Dave and Donny! (Donny is in the West Conference while both Alan and Dave are in the East, which could potentially set up an all Spartan Super Bowl one day…) Zabka will still be powered by the Drew Bree’s and Odell Beckham Jr duo, and now with hopefully healthy seasons from Rob Gronkowski, Sammy Watkins, and Kelvin Benjamin, there’s no question this an all air offensive — spare receiver Jameson Crowder was even traded pre-draft. But who will run for these guys? Last year it was Latavius Murray and Jonathan Stewart splitting time and now Stewart is back via draft although the week one starter looks to be Terrance West. Alan knows he needs a sturdier running game and went heavy with five of them in the draft — Rob Kelley, Marlon Mack, Eddie Lacy, Stewart again, and D’Onta Freeman. Can this team stay healthy enough to take Zabka over the top, or will injuries derail their championship hopes yet again?