Playoffs: RD1 Preview

They playoffs are here! There's a handful of new, and surprising teams, on-board and there was even a tight race between a pair of 7-6 teams over in The Wood. In the end, it feels like the right eight teams are in the postseason and we're excited for the drama to unfold. [2012 Playoff Preview]

Western Conference
Morrie’s Pogiboys (10-3) vs Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
These in-division rivals faced off twice this season, with Pogiboys trouncing Bamfers by a combined total of 157-79. Alvin’s team is the hottest team in the league and haven’t lost since WK6. Powered by Calvin Johnson, DeSean Jackson, rookie sensation Eddie Lacy, and the up and down leadership at the helm from Tom Brady, Pogiboys should dispose of Bamfers quickly. I mean, Megatron eats teams that sneak into the playoffs with a losing record — not to mention the lowest PF — for breakfast, which is what Bamfers did. Randy’s team is somehow in the playoffs after a year in which they threw up games of 25 and 29 points. They are coming off of three weeks with sub-60 scores and it would take a minor miracle to pull off an upset here. Then again, NICK FOLES! He of the 13-0 TD to INT ratio and the capability of throwing seven touchdowns at any moment. There’s a chance that Foles could try to single handedly engineer an upset here, but with only a fading Frank Gore and the inconsistent mirage of CJ Spiller / Fred Jackson, we see Bamfers’ win here as a nigh impossibility. The real lesson here: Hoke-A-Mania is a real bad division.

Jedi Knights (8-5) vs P Funk All Stars (8-5)
This is Chris’ second consecutive trip to the postseason -- with two division wins in a row -- and represents a nice upward trajectory from the depths of 2-11 in 2010. While they’ve stumbled down the stretch this year, losing three of their last five, they have the Peyton Manning Experience, along with Wes Welker as his dynamic duo buddy. RB Alfred Morris solidified his top ten status, giving the passing game some balance. For Jedi to go far though, veterans like Jason Witten, Marques Colston, and Steve Smith will have to step it up a bit. P Funk All Stars fans are delirious after two seasons that produced only three wins total combined. Sure we made fun of them alot, but with eight wins in 2013, Paolo’s team actually equaled their entire win total from 2010-2012 (and narrowed missed out on winning their first division title since 2005). The All Stars are heating up at just the right time too, riding a three game winning streak. Of course, facing the league’s softest schedule has helped but the patchwork team put together this season has been quite the success. Incredibly, the top scorer for P Funk is WR Michael Floyd, who didn’t put together many big numbers until WK11. Behind him sits Ryan Mathews, a nice reclamation project. And then it’s BenJarvus Green-Ellis… We don’t know how this team was winning, but here they are, in the playoffs and P Funk Nation is excited for the chance at an upset victory!

Eastern Conference
Mandalorian Warriors (11-2) vs Squirtle Squad (7-6)
Winning nine games in a row isn’t a shabby way to head into your title defense. The last time Matt’s team lost, it was a WK4 barnburner in which he still scored 98 points. In fact, both of Mandalorian’s losses have come while still scoring 90+ points. Squirtle Squad is on quite a streak themselves, with five straight wins catapulting them into a late wild card slot, and they seem very capable of an upset as they’ve scored 90, 101, 71, 104, and 134 during their streak. The Warriors have Drew Brees, LeSean McCoy, Knowshon Moreno, Brandon Marshall, and a healthy Rob Gronkowski. Plus the semi-recent trade addition of Larry Fitzgerald. It’s an all star caliber squad. Brian counters with Adrian Peterson, Josh Gordon, Zac Stacy, and promising rookie Keenan Allen. It’s been a nice comeback season for Squirtle Squad, after going 5-8 and 3-10 in recent years. At first glance, the quarterback battle between Brees and Ryan Tannehill is a laugher, but Tannehill has actually been outproducing Brees over the last month. Impressive, no? It’s going to be a high powered affair and Warriors might be facing their toughest challenge right out of the gate. Obviously, this is the game of the week. We expect fireworks!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-4) vs Detroit Players (8-5)
J was bounced from "the real Super Bowl" by eventual champs Warriors last year but they’re back to challenge for the title again. Despite a trajectory that suggested they would get eleven wins this season — they’ve gone 8-5, 9-4, 10-3 in recent years — they weren’t quite as good as hoped, even after a 4-1 start. Still, this is no team to mess around with, as they have the biggest positional advantage player in the game: Jimmy Graham. With Dez Bryant elevating his game this season, along with a late season surge by Antonio Brown, Pooh quarterback Cam Newton has plenty of targets to throw to. The Bears have some problems in the backfield however, as Doug Martin was lost to injury and Ray Rice was lost to ineptitude. As for Detroit Players, after two straight 5-8 campaigns, they finally broke through for their first winning season since 2009. While slightly overmatched, Ariel’s team has the confidence in knowing that they toppled Pooh Bears in WK6 and aren’t afraid to tangle with a franchise they are very familiar with. Detroit Players is a three headed monster starring Robert Griffin III, A.J. Green, DeMarco Murray, and ah, little else. I mean, their next highest contributors are Hakeem Nicks, Bobby Rainey, and Mike Williams, the latter who has been on IR since WK9. Ariel will lean on an excellent Panthers DST to try to sneak out a win here but Pooh Bears could have their sights set on bigger prey in the next round...