Super Bowl Preview 2017

Since coming aboard in 2014, Alan has stamped his Sweep the Leg Zabka as a franchise to be feared. They’ve made the playoffs in every season they’ve played and reached the Super Bowl in 2015 (before getting upset by Another Bad Creation). They’ll have to look to avoid another upset as they face off in another #2 vs #4 matchup, this time versus title game neophytes Hungry Hungry Ouroboros.

Jon’s team entered Maize and Blue in 2012, taking over for the defending champs, but since then has gone 23-42 in five seasons, before finishing 7-6 this year and squeaking into the playoffs — despite losing their last three regular season games. However, once there, they’ve upset both #1 and #2 seeds in the Western Conference and might have the gas for one more victory. Let’s take a look at the matchups.

QB: Drew Brees has been steady as ever, albeit a tad less than spectacular this season, while Ouroboros’ Dak Prescott has been wildly up and down, swinging between low single digit outings and high twenties. The consistency edge has to go to Sweep the Leg here.

RB: It’s been a rotating cast of castoffs for Alan this year at running back, with their highest scoring RB being Devonta Freeman, whom they acquired in early November for the stretch run for the price of two future RD1s and a RD3. Freeman didn’t even see the field until three weeks ago but he looks poised to have a good championship game. Will he be able to match Todd Gurley’s MVP-like season? No, but he could be similarly explosive. Behind Freeman, there’s literally nobody else as Alfred Morris, Terrance West, Marlon Mack, Jonathan Stewart, Damien Williams, and Rob Kelley all had a cup of coffee this year for Zabka and all will be quietly benched.

As for Ouroboros, they have Gurley, and some success with Jerick McKinnon, and traded for Isaiah Crowell late, but it looks like rookie Joe Mixon will get the start after missing two weeks with a concussion. For a team that whiffed on two huge trades — acquiring the now injured Dalvin Cook and the inconsistent Mixon — Ouroboros’ running game is in decent shape, based on the strength of Gurley.

WR: There’s no question about it, Zabka has the edge here. Marvin Jones has quietly been a top twelve receiver and while Sammy Watkins and Kelvin Benjamin haven’t exactly thrived on their new NFL teams, they have been more than serviceable. The loss of Odell Beckham Jr early in the season hurt Alan’s team of course, but they’ve recovered well. As for Hungry, a rotating cast of boom-or-bust receivers have led them to feature Nelson Agholor, Will Fuller V, and Robert Woods for most of the season, but aside from Agholor, it hasn’t been especially dependable. Ouroboros is choosing to go with Paul Richardson over Corey Coleman or similar trash.

TE: It’s Rob Gronkowski versus Jason Witten. Haha. This is probably the matchup that gives Zabka the title this year, just saying…

K/DEF: Normally we don’t cover DEF or K that much but since Ouroboros made a special effort to trade for #1 defense, Jacksonville, a month ago, this would be the game for them to step up and prove they were worth the price. Of course, Bears defense faces of against the Browns so there’s a chance Zabka evens this edge out. The two kickers, Kai Forbath versus Jake Elliot, are basically a wash.

Prediction: Zabka by ten, and a new title holder for Maize and Blue either way!